Monday, July 18, 2011
My friend accuses me of having feelings for her, I do not... What do i do?
So, here's the deal. I met my friend L when we were both freshman in college. Our sophomore year we decided to room together. Things were good. We always had so much fun together. I've seriously had the best memories with this girl. The summer going into our junior year of college we decided to stay near school and sublet an apartment together. Things were good at first, but then we started fighting more. She's very messy and inconsiderate when it comes to house cleaning so we would mostly fight because I would get upset about the state of the apartment or the dishes or something. She also got upset because I would use her car a lot and I wouldn't put gas in or give her money without her asking first. We were still really close though and decided we wanted to live together for our junior year of college. We got an apartment close to campus, just the two of us. We both had very busy schedules junior year so we definitely started drifting apart. We both fell in and out of love with separate guys that year as well, but at different times. Sometimes we would fight and it was mostly about the usual stuff, house cleaning, bills etc. I still felt really close to her though, or at least I wanted to. Anyways, summer rolled around and our lease didn't end until August so we both decided to stay over the summer. I tried to separate myself from her by hanging out with different ppl and started seeing a couple of guys as well. We still hung out but things weren't as good as they used to be. During the summer she got a job as a shot girl at a strip club and she started acting a little bit crazy after that. She got totally obsessed with my guy friend and wouldn't take no for an answer even when he said that he didn't like her and didn't want to see her anymore. She would just go over to his house uninvited when a bunch of us were hanging out and make a complete fool out of herself. It was very embarrassing for everyone involved. Then I started seeing someone towards the end of the summer. By this point me and L were barely on speaking terms. I couldn't wait to get out of that apartment and I couldn't stand her. I thought that she had gone completely crazy and I didn't want anything more to do with her. One day when I was packing up to move out she started drinking a brand new bottle of orange soda that I had just bought. She always used to eat my food and never buy her own btw. She refused to put it back and just smirked at me when I got mad. She left the apt and i ended up pouring the entire thing all over her bed. That resulted in a physical altercation between the two of us, but it didn't last long. The next night she was prancing around in some kind of lingerie with some boy. I went into my room and was going to sleep until she started banging on the door yelling at me from the other side. She accused me of being in love with her and said that I was only with my boyfriend because I couldn't have her. She also said that my boyfriend didn't love me, he loved her and that I have always been jealous of her. I didn't know how to react to this insanity so all i did was laugh and call her crazy. I moved out of the apt shortly after that and we really didn't talk for a long time until she called me and wanted to make amends. I forgave her and we slowly became friends again. It was better because we weren't living together anymore. Fast forward until last week, L is now accusing me of having feelings for her again. She started off by demeaning my relationship with my boyfriend, to which i said that she had no business talking about him that way and that I will not sit and listen to her berate someone that I love. Then she said "Well, you're the one who asked me out last summer!" I said, "Asked you out where?" She replied, "On a date." At this point I could not believe the level of crazy that was coming out of this girl's mouth so I told that I could not talk to her anymore and that I was leaving. Later on that night she texted me and said that she was only trying to be honest with me and if I couldn't take that then we shouldn't talk anymore. I told her that she was not being honest and that I couldn't be friends with someone that crazy. Ok, so there it is. She accused me of being in love with her twice in the past year. What do I do? The thing is I do really care for her AS A FRIEND and nothing more. And, if I lost her I would miss her. But on the other hand I don't know how I can continue to be friends with someone who thinks that I am in love with her. Why does she even think that? I have never ever in a million years given her any sign that would make her think that, which makes me even more confused because she claims that I asked her out. I have no idea where she even got that idea. Anyways any advice would be super helpful!
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